Jan Baumgras

Did you know that in her book The Light We Carry Michelle Obama wrote about the discomfort of being an “only”?  She was the only tall girl at school, among few Blacks and even fewer Black women at Princeton and Harvard Law School, then at the law firm where she worked.  Of course ultimately she became  the only Black First Lady. She wrote about learning to adapt her behavior to fit in wherever she was, but said how great it is to find friends who accept her as she is.  

I have often been an “only”. My mother was a working widow, so we lived with my grandmother in a neighborhood of people her age. Consequently, my twin sister and I were the only kids. Our mother had to work while most mothers did not, so we were usually the only kids who had no parent at school activities, scouts, etc. I chose a STEM career in a time when women did not, which resulted in being the only woman in many of my classes and eventually being one of few professional women at work.  I finished my working years as the only woman in Dow Chemical’s Advanced Analytics Department where I was often mistaken by visitors to be the secretary. As the only IT expert embedded with my clients rather than with the rest of IT, I also differed from my coworkers professionally.  For decades I had to adapt to “fit in”, particularly at work.  Not at UCC.  When Pilgrim says everyone is welcome it means just as they are.  It’s OK to be an “only”. I looked for an open and affirming church when I moved here because I learned at my previous UCC church that, while open and affirming is equated with accepting LGBTQ+, it really means everyone.